The end of 30 paintings in 30 days – collage

Today it’s time to post a collage of all the paintings done during this 30 day challenge period. I put them in the order I made them rather than how they’d best look next to eachother.

Some of them I still haven’t taken a liking to and I’ll probably rework them later. Some of them are favourites that I’ll keep at home for a while.

My biggest takeaway from this challenge is that on the days that I don’t feel like painting it doesn’t pay off to force it. I just end up with a painting that I don’t love and even if others might like the painting it’s hard to sell something you don’t feel strongly enough for. That “something’s off” feeling isn’t about feeling lazy, it’s more like not being in tune with the right thing. As if you’re a faulty instrument. Sometimes that might correct itself as the eve goes on, sometimes you just keep on playing false notes. That’s how it works for me.

Each painting took about 2 hours to make, sometimes a bit more. More time will be needed for painting borders, applying varnish, adding a hanging mechanism. A few will take more time as I rework the scene to something I love more.

I was hoping to get some of that done today since it’s a Saturday but it turns out having nothing scheduled made all the things I feel come out and I’ve spent most of today in bed. I have places to be tomorrow so maybe Sunday will be a productive day.

Day 30: Creativity Forest

It’s the last day of the 30 paintings in 30 days challenge. Tomorrow we’re all posting a collage of the paintings we’ve done. Then it’s time to go through them all, paint borders, fix minor things, add a hanging mechanism, add varnish, calculate price for some of them and distribute.

“Creativity Forest”, 8×8 inches 20×20 centimeter, acrylic painting.
Progress pics of the painting below.

It’s been a very full moon day. Somewhere in the sky is a big bright moon making people crazy.

Part of the day was lovely, loved talking about Instagram. Other parts of the day was the reason I took some time to literally scream out emotion. If I find out the little whispering people have been making issues I will shout into their faces this time, they’ve used up my patience. If they want to deal with me and have my respect they’d better talk, say what they want, because if they leave me guessing and acting weird then I stop caring about what they need, I have zero tolerance for that kind of drama. And I found out my favourite neighbour has moved, hence no more random monastery music or opportunity to overhear philosophy talk as they discuss outside on their balcony. And then I had my own version of Lucifer season 3 episode 7, except not quite so extreme. Truly, when you’ve hurled major abuses at me several times I’m done listening to what reasons might be behind them, I’m leaving. So that’s my day today. Maybe it’s the reason why the painting turned out darker in color than I had planned. Overall not a bad day but a frustrating one.

Day 29: Breathe

The night brought more nightmares but the day was wonderful.. and sad, because it’s like trying to catch running water, you can only have it in the moment for a while as you stand there. At some point there’s duties to attend to and homes to go to.

“Breathe”, 20×20 centimeter 8×8 inches, acrylic painting.

I was in the mood for progress pics today so I took a few, seen below. Although my mood was very green when I started, I started feeling the colour red a lot more towards the end, so the final version contains a lot more red than the start.

The week flew by, got mixed feelings about the weekend coming up. As always I wish for impossible things. Tomorrow’s the last painting of this series, we’ll see what that will be like.

Day 28: The Full Moon Effect

I’ve been having the strangest nightmares lately. Plus I had a start of a migraine in the morning (took painkiller, chased it off). Perhaps that’s some explanation for this painting.

“The Full Moon Effect”, 8×8 inches 20×20 centimeters, acrylic paint.

I’m pretty good at managing my thoughts when I’m awake. But when I go to sleep, it’s all wild west time. Dreamed of a great flood (emotion) that threatened my survival. Dreamed the one I wish for didn’t care, then I dreamed we kissed, then I was on a train and I couldn’t find my train ticket. There’s a lot I don’t know about my situation and when I’m awake I can handle that and I understand. And when I’m asleep.. well, hello scary metaphors and chaos. Oh well. Maybe I need to meditate more or something.

Day 27: The Most Hopeful Thought

Having issues getting a proper photo of this one. Going back and forth about if I’m actually done with it too, I’ll know better in the morning.

“The Most Hopeful Thought” – 20×20 centimeter 8×8 inches, acrylic paint.

To be honest, all my trees of hope are pretty small, saplings, they’ve been cut down a lot. Some days I can dream, though, and I can see the most beautiful of trees growing, strong and sturdy. Every life change towards the better raises questions like can I do this, am I good enough, but I do so try to ignore those thoughts and instead focus on the next step, the next practical thing, the next little small brave thing.

Just 3 more days left of this challenge. I do plan on keeping on painting regularly, just not every day, I’d swim in paintings before long.

Day 26: Joy

Sometimes things don’t turn out as expected. I loved today.

“Joy”, 20×20 centimeter 8×8 inches, acrylic paint.

I don’t want to say much, afraid I’ll jinx it or ruin something. But it was a good day. Surprising. Warm. Funny. And I don’t know, maybe I just get this one day. I’m still terribly sad inside, full of grief. But today I’m also happy. Feeling small and careful, when offered that hand I’ll take it and follow. If things seem stable and real, I’ll grow stronger.

Day 25: Effortless Fidelity

Saw the new Marvel movie the Black Panther today, I think it’s affected today’s landscape.

“Effortless Fidelity” in acrylic paint, 8×8 inches or 20×20 centimeter.

Below is how it started. Made a shape, decided on where the light would be and suddenly in my mind birds appeared, then a tree, a clearing.

I don’t want to over-explain things today. About the title, it’s a state of being when you feel right and both people are aligned and in love. And when you’re not, everything’s a lot harder.

Day 24: After Midnight

It’s been a topsy-turvy day. Temperatures dropped rapidly and triggered my fibromyalgia, like what am I, a weather station? So today I’ve been stupidly tired. Then I broke down, so much sorrow. And then it was in the middle of the night and I still had a painting to do.

“After Midnight”, 8×8 inches or 20×20 centimeter acrylic painting on canvas.

I’m so sleepy I’m painting with one eye closed. I keep finding myself squinting like a pirate and telling myself “I’m almost done”. I was already about to post the so called final version when I had this strong feeling that lanterns of some kind were missing. Below you see the version before the lanterns.

Just need to post this to the 30 paintings in 30 days challenge blog and then to facebook and then I can stop being a pirate and close both eyes and sleep.

PS: These creatures often show up in my paintings when I paint at night. Should I be concerned?

Day 23: A Dark and Stormy Night

I had this vision of a colourful scene and a woman dancing in a red dress, so I picked up my brush.. and this came out.

I guess it fits my general state of being better. Everything’s a bit hazy and dusky, the wind blows and I don’t know what will come. But oh well. Might be good stuff. Those people down there might be wizards and everything will be fine. Or it might not. Hard to tell in this dusk.

Might decide to work on the foreground a bit more to enhance the distance effect, I’ll see how it feels in the morning.

Day 22: When Doves Cry

At 5:13 pm today I got a flash of what I wanted my next painting to be. However, after attending a classical concert and getting home past 10 pm I was too exhausted for detail work. Maybe I’ll make it tomorrow. Today we have an abstract instead.

“When Doves Cry”, 8×8 inches or 20×20 centimeter.

Today my mind has been preoccupied with thoughts about strength. I see myself as a strong person and I often end up around people who lean on me for support. That’s fine. But when it comes to finding someone I can spend my life with, the gap can’t be too great. So on my mind today has been strength. How important it is to do what’s right, not according to tradition or values or society, but having the emotional intelligence to know what’s the healthy thing to do rather than the comfortable. It’s not easy to know and it takes time. Still, a lot of people I talk to know what they should do yet they avoid doing it.. because the in-laws will be mean, because somehow they’ll become tolerant of all the things that drive them nuts about the other person, because the other person will surely change now finally, because the sweet memories they had creates a nostalgic forcefield too great to escape, or because what if they can turn back time and magically become people they used to be with needs they used to have. Sometimes it’s a sign there’s one more thing they need to try before facing up to looking at the present with clear eyes. Sometimes it means they’ll spend the rest of their life in comfortable rewardless mediocrity.

So that’s what ran through my mind while splashing paint today. Just the sadness and futility of it all. And me, looking for someone brave, who won’t make excuses forever or settles. I can’t imagine how crap it would feel to be on the receiving end of that, to be with someone who’s with you because they think they don’t deserve better or doesn’t dare change their life. So I’m looking for someone brave who will properly work on a relationship but won’t stay just to make me happy. Honesty hurts but dang, the alternative is worse.

And in the mean while, strong or not, I’m in a dove crying mood tonight. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

I was trying to use a paint thinner for acrylics for this painting but I think I grabbed the wrong bottle. I don’t know how it will effects its longevity or the paint. Drats.